salah aku
sebab took everything for granted
salah aku
sebab selalu wat jahat
salah aku
sebab tak penah fikir +ve
salah aku
semuanya salah aku
mesti kau hepi
tengok aku separuh gila macam ni
desperate sangat
kalau aku mintak nak mati
macam la pahala aku cukup nak angkat aku masuk syurga
tapi sekurang-kurangnya
tolong aku lupakan kau
sebab keadaan sekarang tak membantu
aku tak tahu aku boleh tahan sampai bila
Tuesday, 3 July 2012
Saba's cooking. drabble 1
I wonder what will happen when all of us left the hostel and live in apartment? So I made a drabble on US.
#Drabble 1-scene:kitchen, when Saba is preparing meal for all of us.
It’s a battle of pride when it comes to defending her kitchen, and Saba does it like a mother lion kills for her cubs. Said is first to go down.The last thing she remembers before lifting the cover off the pot of stew that had been bubbling wafts of aromatic nabe for the last twenty minutes was a sharp pull from behind, and strong arms pinning her down to the floor so fast it happened in a blur.
"You are not laying a single fingernail on that soup," Saba warns in a tone that borders on growl.
Her triceps flex splendidly and Said is surprised she even has the guts to be staring at them.
"But Saba, I only wanted to try," she squeaks, her belly growing cold from the diffusion happening between the frozen tiles and her exposed skin. She tilts her head backwards as far as it would go before any more would twist it the wrong way permanently.
"More like destroy," Saba bites back, releasing Said from her painful hold. The leader groans, waggling her arms to get the blood pumping. "Shake them outside," Saba orders. "The last time you came in here I had things falling all over the place. Big actions are meant for dance stages, not kitchens."
Said crawls out, tail tucked between her legs, sitting appropriately outside the unseen line Saba had drawn out for them many times before. She watches Saba bustle about the small area, commanding the atmosphere. She cooked, she cleaned, she cared - and she amused – because at this point Jai walks in with drool sliding down the corners of her open mouth.
"What’s for dinner~" she asks jovially, before shrieking like a banshee.
"Yah! Yah SABARIAH KESE! Put that down! Yah! Are you insane?!"
Said plays Peeping Tom from afar, safe behind the wall of support she had clung to as she watches Saba turn into Rambo cum Terminator I-kill-you. The eldest brandishes two spatulas in her hand like butchering knives, aiming them at Jai like machine guns ready for target practice.
"Dinner’s not ready till half an hour," Saba grits in her most sinister Johnny Depp voice ever. She makes a psychotic dash for Jai, who banishes all thoughts of snacking before mealtime.
"Yah damnit! I’ll be back!" Jai yells, frightened yet unwilling to surrender. Said grins stupidly when Jai sprints across the invisible line, because Saba stops right in front of the barrier, guarding the entrance to her kitchen like a demented dragon. Jai sticks her tongue out at her senior from behind the “safety” of that line, and gets a she-should-have-seen-it-coming knock on the forehead from Saba’s spatula.
"Asta la vista baby~" the oldest member calls after as Jai runs off to complain to Ana, who – smart at all the wrong moments – knew when to keep out of restricted zones established by Sabariah Kese.
The leader had been about to walk away and find something less interesting to do when Dila ventures bravely into the lion/tiger/jaguar den. "Saba, I demand food," she hollers boldly, Tarzan style.Saba’s back is to Dila, but Said should have guessed the look of pique on her face as the last of the dumb fools walks into her sacred shrine of herbs and spices and instant noodles.Unaware in her search for RUSKI and the likes, her head plunged deep in the cupboards, the younger doesn’t sense Saba’s stealthy approach. She captures only a flicker of movement after she closes the swinging doors – then lo and behold – Saba has her wrists held in a vice-like strangle.
Dila laughs, thinking it funny, but Saba’s grip tightens. Said from another dimension can see the terror that flits across Dila’s eyes when she realizes her friend is going to eat her up like the Black Widow Spider sucks blood out of its prey.
"Saba, why are you holding me so lovingly?" Dila asks, still capable of making sarcastic remarks despite the situation. "Let me go."
"I’ll let go if you promise you won’t disturb the kitchen until dinner," Saba retorts.
"Say it!" Dila’s expression turns helpless as she struggles against Saba, whose might still surpassed her by a matter of one year.
"Help~" Dila cries as loud as she can, her plea ricocheting off the walls of the kitchen – an animal about to be slaughtered. Said doesn’t dare try.
"Jai!~ Help me!~" the younger continues, although Jai from not so far away has moved on to things other than food, discussing anime with Ana like they hadn’t been informed of Dila’s fight for survival.
"Promise me, and then I’ll let you go," Saba threatens, eyeing her boiling soup. She twists Dila’s wrists together menacingly –"Yah okay forget it dinner’s ready," she snaps, letting the younger member go. She had spent the past half an hour restraining idiots.
Ana crosses the line immediately at the sound of "dinner’s ready" and is the first housemate who doesn’t get attacked.
"Smarty-pants," Dila taunts, and Ana wriggles her fancy behind in Dila’s face. Said comes out of hiding, clasping her hands together in thanks for the food. She heads straight for Saba, who scoops soup into her bowl until her rice turns porridge.The older members take their food out to the balcony, absorbing the calm that seeps out of the frosted air, steaming their faces with smoke from their bowls.
"Saba, are you sure you’re only human?" Said teases, her lips swelling from the truckload of red hot chili pepper Saba must have thrown in.
"What?" the eldest inquires, giving Said a questioning look. "What did I do?" she asks precariously. Cast under the full moon, Saba is a brand new discovery - rare and precious - more costly than gold.
"No Saba, you didn’t do anything," Said replies, wiping tears of love and burning spice out from under her eyes.
#Drabble 1-scene:kitchen, when Saba is preparing meal for all of us.
It’s a battle of pride when it comes to defending her kitchen, and Saba does it like a mother lion kills for her cubs. Said is first to go down.The last thing she remembers before lifting the cover off the pot of stew that had been bubbling wafts of aromatic nabe for the last twenty minutes was a sharp pull from behind, and strong arms pinning her down to the floor so fast it happened in a blur.
nabe a.k.a sukiyaki
"You are not laying a single fingernail on that soup," Saba warns in a tone that borders on growl.
Her triceps flex splendidly and Said is surprised she even has the guts to be staring at them.
"But Saba, I only wanted to try," she squeaks, her belly growing cold from the diffusion happening between the frozen tiles and her exposed skin. She tilts her head backwards as far as it would go before any more would twist it the wrong way permanently.
"More like destroy," Saba bites back, releasing Said from her painful hold. The leader groans, waggling her arms to get the blood pumping. "Shake them outside," Saba orders. "The last time you came in here I had things falling all over the place. Big actions are meant for dance stages, not kitchens."
Said crawls out, tail tucked between her legs, sitting appropriately outside the unseen line Saba had drawn out for them many times before. She watches Saba bustle about the small area, commanding the atmosphere. She cooked, she cleaned, she cared - and she amused – because at this point Jai walks in with drool sliding down the corners of her open mouth.
"What’s for dinner~" she asks jovially, before shrieking like a banshee.
"Yah! Yah SABARIAH KESE! Put that down! Yah! Are you insane?!"
Said plays Peeping Tom from afar, safe behind the wall of support she had clung to as she watches Saba turn into Rambo cum Terminator I-kill-you. The eldest brandishes two spatulas in her hand like butchering knives, aiming them at Jai like machine guns ready for target practice.
"Dinner’s not ready till half an hour," Saba grits in her most sinister Johnny Depp voice ever. She makes a psychotic dash for Jai, who banishes all thoughts of snacking before mealtime.
"Yah damnit! I’ll be back!" Jai yells, frightened yet unwilling to surrender. Said grins stupidly when Jai sprints across the invisible line, because Saba stops right in front of the barrier, guarding the entrance to her kitchen like a demented dragon. Jai sticks her tongue out at her senior from behind the “safety” of that line, and gets a she-should-have-seen-it-coming knock on the forehead from Saba’s spatula.
"Asta la vista baby~" the oldest member calls after as Jai runs off to complain to Ana, who – smart at all the wrong moments – knew when to keep out of restricted zones established by Sabariah Kese.
The leader had been about to walk away and find something less interesting to do when Dila ventures bravely into the lion/tiger/jaguar den. "Saba, I demand food," she hollers boldly, Tarzan style.Saba’s back is to Dila, but Said should have guessed the look of pique on her face as the last of the dumb fools walks into her sacred shrine of herbs and spices and instant noodles.Unaware in her search for RUSKI and the likes, her head plunged deep in the cupboards, the younger doesn’t sense Saba’s stealthy approach. She captures only a flicker of movement after she closes the swinging doors – then lo and behold – Saba has her wrists held in a vice-like strangle.
Dila laughs, thinking it funny, but Saba’s grip tightens. Said from another dimension can see the terror that flits across Dila’s eyes when she realizes her friend is going to eat her up like the Black Widow Spider sucks blood out of its prey.
"Saba, why are you holding me so lovingly?" Dila asks, still capable of making sarcastic remarks despite the situation. "Let me go."
"I’ll let go if you promise you won’t disturb the kitchen until dinner," Saba retorts.
"Say it!" Dila’s expression turns helpless as she struggles against Saba, whose might still surpassed her by a matter of one year.
"Help~" Dila cries as loud as she can, her plea ricocheting off the walls of the kitchen – an animal about to be slaughtered. Said doesn’t dare try.
"Jai!~ Help me!~" the younger continues, although Jai from not so far away has moved on to things other than food, discussing anime with Ana like they hadn’t been informed of Dila’s fight for survival.
"Promise me, and then I’ll let you go," Saba threatens, eyeing her boiling soup. She twists Dila’s wrists together menacingly –"Yah okay forget it dinner’s ready," she snaps, letting the younger member go. She had spent the past half an hour restraining idiots.
Ana crosses the line immediately at the sound of "dinner’s ready" and is the first housemate who doesn’t get attacked.
"Smarty-pants," Dila taunts, and Ana wriggles her fancy behind in Dila’s face. Said comes out of hiding, clasping her hands together in thanks for the food. She heads straight for Saba, who scoops soup into her bowl until her rice turns porridge.The older members take their food out to the balcony, absorbing the calm that seeps out of the frosted air, steaming their faces with smoke from their bowls.
"Saba, are you sure you’re only human?" Said teases, her lips swelling from the truckload of red hot chili pepper Saba must have thrown in.
"What?" the eldest inquires, giving Said a questioning look. "What did I do?" she asks precariously. Cast under the full moon, Saba is a brand new discovery - rare and precious - more costly than gold.
"No Saba, you didn’t do anything," Said replies, wiping tears of love and burning spice out from under her eyes.
And
sometimes, she thinks, Saba doesn’t even have to.
Because It Hurts
When I was out jogging,
I saw HIM.
I don't want to see him.
Not now, not ever.
He used to be my dream.
Now he's my nightmare.
It's strange how feelings can change.
It can change love to hate, and vice versa.
I've never experienced loving someone I hate,
But I understand the feeling of hating someone I used to love.
I saw HIM.
I don't want to see him.
Not now, not ever.
He used to be my dream.
Now he's my nightmare.
It's strange how feelings can change.
It can change love to hate, and vice versa.
I've never experienced loving someone I hate,
But I understand the feeling of hating someone I used to love.
Said,Dila,Jai,Saba and Ana's childhood(?)
Well,hari ni letih. Ada ceramah kat Wisma Kuala Terengganu and we got back to hostel at 4 pm. Then dapat notification yang BM class was canceled tonight. So, aku buat fiction pasal bebudak ni.
Starring:
Saba
Said
Dila
Jai
Ana
It was a beautiful
afternoon. The sun was shining brightly overhead, there was a cool breeze, and
the only clouds in the sky were the fluffy ones that looked like giant cotton
balls fresh out of the bag. It was the perfect day to play in Dila's
awesome new sandbox, as had apparently been decided when Saba, Jai, Said, and Ana all appeared on the doorstep of her house and proceeded to
drag her to her backyard.
"You guys better not leave me to clean everything up like last time." Dila glared at her four friends as they all ignored her and tumbled into the sandy pit.
"What game should we play?" Jai asked as she dove headfirst into a particularly tall mound of sand.
"Follow the leader!" Said answered immediately. "I'll be the leader!" And no one protested because Said was always the leader.
"I'll play!" Saba jumped up and flailed her arms about for no reason. "Dila, are you playing too?"
Dila glanced up from her corner of the sandbox and pointed to the pail in her hands, then at the growing mound of sand in front of her. "No. I'm using the sand to sculpt Michelangelo's David."
"Who's David?" Saba blinked at her with wide, curious eyes.
Dila heaved a long, exaggerated sigh and decided she wouldn't even grace that with an answer. They were stupid. They were all stupid.
"I LOVE follow the leader!" said Jai, "I'll play, Saba!"
"Jai can't play!" Ana said, and stuck her tongue out at Jai's offended expression.
"Why not??"
"Because you're stupid and slow and we always have to wait for you. So you don't get to play!"
"But that's not fair!" Jai whined. She crossed her arms and collapsed onto the sandy floor, glaring her feet. It was true that she sometimes lagged behind, but she wasn't that slow! Stupid Ana! Ana was just jealous of how cute and perfect she was.
Jai took out the black crayon that she always kept in her pocket and drew on the wooden ledge that made up the border of the sandbox.
"You guys better not leave me to clean everything up like last time." Dila glared at her four friends as they all ignored her and tumbled into the sandy pit.
"What game should we play?" Jai asked as she dove headfirst into a particularly tall mound of sand.
"Follow the leader!" Said answered immediately. "I'll be the leader!" And no one protested because Said was always the leader.
"I'll play!" Saba jumped up and flailed her arms about for no reason. "Dila, are you playing too?"
Dila glanced up from her corner of the sandbox and pointed to the pail in her hands, then at the growing mound of sand in front of her. "No. I'm using the sand to sculpt Michelangelo's David."
"Who's David?" Saba blinked at her with wide, curious eyes.
Dila heaved a long, exaggerated sigh and decided she wouldn't even grace that with an answer. They were stupid. They were all stupid.
"I LOVE follow the leader!" said Jai, "I'll play, Saba!"
"Jai can't play!" Ana said, and stuck her tongue out at Jai's offended expression.
"Why not??"
"Because you're stupid and slow and we always have to wait for you. So you don't get to play!"
"But that's not fair!" Jai whined. She crossed her arms and collapsed onto the sandy floor, glaring her feet. It was true that she sometimes lagged behind, but she wasn't that slow! Stupid Ana! Ana was just jealous of how cute and perfect she was.
Jai took out the black crayon that she always kept in her pocket and drew on the wooden ledge that made up the border of the sandbox.
"Eukyangkyangkyang," Jai snickered as she looked over her artwork. One day, she would show them all. One day...
Said jumped onto the wooden border, then turned back to the other two. "Hop on one leg twenty times without falling!"
Said started hopping. Ana and Saba jumped up next to her and did the same.
"Saba, you have to raise your knee up higher," Said said, feeling very leader-like whenever she gave out orders like this.
Saba raised her arm.
"No, Saba, I said to raise your knee!"
"I AM raising my knee!!" Saba stretched her hand as far up as she could.
Said stopped hopping and the other two stopped with her. "Sorry Saba, but you're out. You raised your arm when I told you to raise your knee."
"...But isn't my knee on my arm?" Saba asked innocently. Ana and Said stared at her blankly.
".......No, Saba. Your knee is on your leg." Said pointed to it. Saba looked back and forth between her elbow and her knee, eyes widening as realization dawned on her.
"SABA DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A KNEE IS!!" Ana burst into hysterics, falling off the ledge and rolling around with laughter on the sand.
"B-but but... but I... but," Saba pouted and her loosely balled fists shot up to her chin, "But Said, they look so SIMILAR!" Saba looked at Said with impossibly big, teary eyes.
Uh oh, Said thought. "Saba," she said gently, "It's okay. It's just a game. We can play something else."
Saba stared dejectedly at the ground. "It's okay, Said. You don't have to stop playing just 'cause of me." But she continued to sniffle pitifully, and Said's little heart melted at the sight.
"Okay, Saba," Said said with a defeated sigh.
"Okay what?" Saba asked and added an extra sniffle for good measure.
"Okay, I'll let you back in the game."
Saba brightened up so suspiciously fast that it was almost as if she hadn't even been sad in the first place. "SAID!♥" Saba yelled as she launched herself at the other girl and tackled her onto the sand.
"Saba...can't...breathe..." Said gasped as she slowly suffocated under the crushing weight of Saba's hug.
Ana snickered from where she sat a few feet away. "Saba likes Said! Saba likes Said! Saba and Said sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-"
Saba pushed Said away from her so fast that the wind was knocked out of her for a second time.
"I do not! Said's a GIRL!"
"And Saba is a BOY! A boy who likes Said!"
Saba growled and immediately gave chase. Ana ran away just as quickly while chanting, "Boyish Saba likes Said!"
"Ana," Said said once she could breathe again, "You should say sorry before Saba beats you up again-" But before she could finish her sentence, it was already too late.
Jai looked up from where she was writing DIE ANA DIE on the wood to see that very same girl running towards her with a PO'd Saba close behind. And she was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea: she stuck her leg out.
"JAI WTF!!!" Ana screamed as she crash-landed onto the torso of David. Saba leapt onto her back, effectively pinning Ana as hit her on the head over and over.
"My masterwork!" Dila yelled indignantly. She threw her pail dangerously close to Ana's much-abused head. "Now I'll never be a famous artist!"
Dila huffed as she watched Saba slap Ana into submission and promised to herself that she would never ever ever ever let her friends come within a one-mile radius of her house again.
When Saba brings a batch of homemade cookies the next weekend, that promise is mysteriously forgotten.
~THE END~
Monday, 2 July 2012
I Give Up.For Good.
Aku tak tahu nak buat apa.
Tapi aku tak suka perasaan ni.
Serius, baru-baru ni aku dah start heal balik.
Aku cuba untuk lebih rapat ngan budak-budak ni.
Walaupun aku tak suka keluar bilik,
aku cuba.
Sebab bila ada dengan diorang,
aku lupa pasal KITA.
Lepas tu,
DIA muncul.
Buat masa ni dia cuma an insignificant person.
Someone who I see as ACQUAINTANCE.
No more, no less.
But it could get more.
Sebab walaupun ni agak mengarut,drastik,cubaan mencari musibah (bak kata Jai),
if being with him means I can forget you,
then I'll do it.
Sebab hari ni,
aku nampak,
betapa tak bermaknanya aku dalam mata kau.
Aku tahu kau tahu apa aku nak (apa aku mengarut ni)
tapi kau still buat-buat senyap.
Dila pernah tanya,
"kenapa tak gitau je ada orang nak kat kau?"
dan aku jawab,
"sebab aku tau jawapan dia apa."
Kau akan cakap SEMUANYA PILIHAN AKU.
Kalau aku nampak dia lagi BAIK dari kau,
aku patut pilih dia.
Tapi kau tahu tak REASON kenapa aku patut bagitahu kau?
Sebab aku nak kau fight untuk aku.
Bukan leave everything for me to choose!!
Saba cakap tak payah kejar orang yang takkan fight untuk kau.
Aku tau,aku faham.
Tapi sayang buat aku buta,pekak,bodoh.
Dan hari ni aku nampak yang sayang aku takde makna dah untuk kau,kan?
Aku takut nak bagitau Amir pasal benda ni.
Sebab aku tahu dia akan marah.
Jadi,
hari ni,
aku dah buat conclusion.
AKU BETUL-BETUL GIVE UP.
This will be the last time I cry for you, for us.
Tapi aku tak suka perasaan ni.
Serius, baru-baru ni aku dah start heal balik.
Aku cuba untuk lebih rapat ngan budak-budak ni.
Walaupun aku tak suka keluar bilik,
aku cuba.
Sebab bila ada dengan diorang,
aku lupa pasal KITA.
Lepas tu,
DIA muncul.
Buat masa ni dia cuma an insignificant person.
Someone who I see as ACQUAINTANCE.
No more, no less.
But it could get more.
Sebab walaupun ni agak mengarut,drastik,cubaan mencari musibah (bak kata Jai),
if being with him means I can forget you,
then I'll do it.
Sebab hari ni,
aku nampak,
betapa tak bermaknanya aku dalam mata kau.
Aku tahu kau tahu apa aku nak (apa aku mengarut ni)
tapi kau still buat-buat senyap.
Dila pernah tanya,
"kenapa tak gitau je ada orang nak kat kau?"
dan aku jawab,
"sebab aku tau jawapan dia apa."
Kau akan cakap SEMUANYA PILIHAN AKU.
Kalau aku nampak dia lagi BAIK dari kau,
aku patut pilih dia.
Tapi kau tahu tak REASON kenapa aku patut bagitahu kau?
Sebab aku nak kau fight untuk aku.
Bukan leave everything for me to choose!!
Saba cakap tak payah kejar orang yang takkan fight untuk kau.
Aku tau,aku faham.
Tapi sayang buat aku buta,pekak,bodoh.
Dan hari ni aku nampak yang sayang aku takde makna dah untuk kau,kan?
Aku takut nak bagitau Amir pasal benda ni.
Sebab aku tahu dia akan marah.
Jadi,
hari ni,
aku dah buat conclusion.
AKU BETUL-BETUL GIVE UP.
This will be the last time I cry for you, for us.
Kenapah??KENAPAH???
Siot jek..
aku betul-betul ingat balik raya dengan Amir.
Tadi dapat info dia balik 3 minggu lepas raya.
HABIS,KAU BERAYA KAT KL KE??
Mana aci!!
You've promised!!!!
Lagi,aku ingat dia akan stay kat Kelantan at least for 2 weeks.
Kalu camtu aku ada orang teman time aku PBS nanti.
But he HAD to come back AFTER RAYA,right???
Wuwuwuwuwu,...
Piza..piza...PIZA....
aku betul-betul ingat balik raya dengan Amir.
Tadi dapat info dia balik 3 minggu lepas raya.
HABIS,KAU BERAYA KAT KL KE??
Mana aci!!
You've promised!!!!
Lagi,aku ingat dia akan stay kat Kelantan at least for 2 weeks.
Kalu camtu aku ada orang teman time aku PBS nanti.
But he HAD to come back AFTER RAYA,right???
Wuwuwuwuwu,...
Piza..piza...PIZA....
bilakah aku dapat menjamah korang dengan menggunakan duit Amir??
Sunday, 1 July 2012
Princess Princess vs TeniMyu
I was just scrolling my old DVDs back.
And I found one of my precious possessions.
This drama.
It's THIS GUY!!!
And I found one of my precious possessions.
This drama.
up(from left):Mikoto,Yuujirou,Otoya,Tooru,Arisada
below(from left):THREE DARK PRINCESSES,Sakamoto-sama
small pics:I don't know them
And it just occurred to me.
The one playing Mikoto was KENKEN!!!It's THIS GUY!!!
I was like "kyaaaaa~~"ing when I found out..
And the guy playing Arisada was Ooshitari!!!!
OOSHITARI YUUSHI!!!
who knows that THIS guy
and THIS guy is the same person??
I've had enough with Takumi Saito playing Noel (and he's also Ooshitari) but now I have to see that he is PRESIDENT ARISADA???
I mean like...MIKOTO is SHISHIDO!!!
THE Shishido who is the doubles partner of Choutaroh!!
I so wish Koji Date was there and watch Kenken wears women outfit!!!!
But lets not forget our 3rd TeniMyu cast;
Osamu Adachi!!
a.k.a 2nd Generation KIKUMARU EIJI!!
As Sakamoto Akira!!!
Let's see him as Kikumaru!
you're not athletic as others,but you are still one of the Kikumarus
Aaaand him as Sakamoto Akira!!
I was SURPRISED.
I was literally surprised.
Because I've purchased PRINCESS PRINCESS D before I knew TeniMyu.
So it wasn't occurred to me that Sakamoto,Arisada-buchou and Mikoto already knew each other BEFORE the drama was made.
And they sing,dance alongside each other.
Especially Mikoto and Arisada-buchou (0f course, they're OOSHITARI and SHISHIDO,duh!)
I miss TeniMyu.
I don't particularly care about the others but KENKEN!!!KENKEN in frilly outfits!!!DATE KOJI COME SEE THIS!!!!!!
princesses in live version and anime version~
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