Done.

Probably he doesn't understand.
Probably he doesn't WANT to understand.
But most likely....he doesn't even care anymore.
I was the only idiot here.
The biggest idiot.
Hoping, crying, regretting,..
This I'm sure will only lead to another frustration.
But I still haven't get over him.

What should I do?

I'm done being the only one holding on to something that doesn't exist anymore.
I used to say,
"I want him, but I want him to want me".

And another heartbreak.

Now I only want an escapade,
I'm done waiting.
I need a new life.

And I need to start accepting that my future most likely won't involve him.

What You Did, You Get Back.

As the title screams my wrongdoings,
Yes,
The truth hurts.
But it's also true.
Now I feel what he felt.

WHY DID I BECAME SO STUPID?
WHY DID I HURT SOMEONE WHO LOVED ME?

Because I am not a good person.

Kun Faya Kun.

I've waited for 6 months.
A little more years won't hurt,will it?

But please....
please..
notice me.
Notice my cries.
Notice my agonies.
Notice my pains.
Because all I've been doing was looking at your back.

If I had another chance,
I won't let go.
I won't have uneasiness.
I won't mistrust you.
I'll hold on.
That is my promise.

Letihnya menangis Allah saja yang tahu,..
Letihnya berharap Allah saja yang tahu..
My soul feels like it's tearing apart.
Help me Ya Rabbi.

I Need Help.

Today was exhausting.
Not just because we have BMK, Phonology and Literature's class.
It's also because of Zaki.

Can I just run him down with my car?
Now that I have a vehicle,
the urge to kill someone was greater.

I know he's only being facetious (also tedious) and only tries to tease me.
But his teasing is going overboard.

I think I need to be prepared to call the police.

He. Is. So. Goddamn. Annoying.

Well, thank God Abah has silat skills.
Maybe I just should tell Abah about this and with Abah's sense of fatherly-protection,
He can put some SENSE into Zaki's mind.
I am my father's daughter after all.

Putting Zaki's nonsensical whims aside,
I am being super crazy lately.
Not that I haven't been any crazier.

Part of me desperately needs to be free.
From agonies.
From tears.
From wounds.
From being hurt.

That's why lately I keep on going out with them.
If I stay in my room (or in this Godforsaken rundown IPG),
I might broke out and weep.
I feel pathetic.
I feel weak.
I feel stupid.
I feel................like I shouldn't exist in the first place.

I need help.
Professional help.
Mental support.
I need Allah SWT.
But I still can't help feeling dejected.
It's awful.
It's sad.
It's me.

I want to talk to him.
But I'm tired of our talk.
Because even if it ends okay,
some way or another problems keep butting in.
And the woeful story starts again.

It's tiring.
I can't keep dragging Saba to be our medium.
Saba also have her own problems.
And I'm tired being the one to initiates everything.
Like Dila said, "he's an idiot."
Well thank you.
I feel the same way.
But the thing is,
I'M THE BIGGER IDIOT HERE.

I NEEDS TO WATCH THESE!!!

#1ST MOVIE - SHINJUKU KU KABUKICHOU HOIKUEN

Out of these people, I only recognize Kenken,Kane-san and Miyano Mamoru.

Of course, from TenMyu.

But still, I want to watch this!!

#2ND MOVIE - FUJIMI ORCHESTRA

Another BL movie after Takumi-kun series!!!!

I can finally mend my broken heart after the end of Takumi series.

The main character on the right was Takasaki Shota, who played Kikumaru of 5th generation.

He also somewhat a cameo in Takumi-kun series 5:Soshite Harukaze Sasayaite.

I recognize his lips. It's a little bit similar to Seto Koji.

The other who is on the left, Arai Yusuke, who also was casted along Shota in TeniMyu.

He was Inui the 5th.

I think I know him from somewhere,...but I just couldn't remember.

Baba Ryouma also casted as a cameo in this movie. I just wish anywhere Ryouma is, there will be Naito Taiki. hohohoho~~~

I basically don't know this guy coz I haven't been paying attention to Seigaku 5th Generation but he is Kaido the 5th. In this story also need to wear bandana kah??

IN THE END, IT'S JUST BL AND TENIMYU ALL TOGETHER.

ミュジカル「テニスの王子様」、再び。（みゅじかる「てにすのおうじさま」、ふたたぶ）

Myujikaru [Tenisu no Oujisama], Futatabi.
Musical The Prince of Tennis, Again.

So I return with another post about TeniMyu, the one thing that make perhaps the biggest impact on my life. Why the sudden entry, you ask? That will easily be answered by the fact that the run of this musical that started back in 2003 has finally come to end last Sunday with the Senshuuraku show of Dream Live 7th.

I guess this entry would be meant for my own personal thoughts as a fan. So here goes everything.

So as I may have mentioned in one of my previous Tenimyu-related posts, I only started becoming a rabid fan of this some two years ago. This in effect started a chain reaction that opened my world to not only this musical, but to the anime and the manga counterparts, as well as other projects the actors involved in this have. TeniMyu was literally what started everything. And I'm humbly grateful to have been exposed to this masterpiece.

I realized that in the span of those seven long years of TeniMyu's run, it brought so many people together, and some others probably closer than intended (can't blame me for fantasizing some nice TakiKime or ShiroAi or WaFuru here and there xP). You never really know. But this is one thing I do know; I've said it already before but it can't hurt to repeat it:It starts and ends with TeniMyu. I'm confident that even if things have officially ended it's not really over.

The memories will remain.... The unforgettable effort spent on perfecting a dance routine or sing a note on key for the actors, and even the opportunity of having met each other is a prized treasure for them, I'm sure. ^____^ Without them, TeniMyu wouldn't be held in much esteem, nor would be as epic as it has become.

すべてのキャストメンバーの、本当にありがとうございました！

(Translation: All of the cast members, I deeply thank you for everything!)

I salute Ueshima-sensei and his shining brilliance with this musical the past seven years. As TeniMyu's 'father', Ueshima-sensei guided this musical to become as successful as it is and will always be; engraving it deeply into the hearts and minds of not only the cast and crew involved in it, but the fans who support them as well. Myself included.

上島ーせんせい、本当にありがとうございました！！

(Translation: Ueshima-sensei, I deeply thank you for everything!!)

Without all of you, I definitely wouldn't be half the person I could be today.

Thank you for all the laughs, the cries and the life lessons.

Thank you for the bonds.

Thank you for making me believe in hitsuzen.

Thank you for the memories until now.

だから、ありがとう。すべてしてください。

(Translation: So, thank you. For everything.)

考えを俳諧。（かんがえをはいかい）Kangae wo Haikai.

Wandering Thoughts.


For the lack of anything else to do (and procrastinating while doing so), I decided to type a random entry today about my little inquiries concerning the group of people I've been a fan of for almost two years: the group that is TeniMyu. With the 21 musicals they's done so far (not counting Dream Live 7th that just finished its first run in Kobe), it's a wonder how close all those actors get in the time they spend with one another.

I was talking with Toru yesterday and he says he's quite a big fan of the franchise and was lucky enough to have watched a few musicals when they came out; particularly when Seigaku 4th cast took the stage (that's from Progressive Match Higa - Dream Live 6th).

He and I were talking about this little collage I made of TeniMyu that Yukio asked me to do for him composed of different pictures of the actors. Doing that little project helped me realize one thing: IT STARTS AND ENDS WITH TENIMYU. I've noticed in the line of musicals, dramas and what-have-you that goes on in the entertainment buzz of Japan, it all leads back to this musical where a grand cast of about 133 people (I counted xD) have starred in.

Putting into consideration the other projects these actors engage in before or after their time as part of the TeniMyu cast, it wouldn't be a surprise if they become the center of interconnections in the J-drama world. Each individual actor pulls in others not part of the TeniMyu franchise, and in contrast end up expanding their connections in the long run. A nice system, I'd imagine. ^___^b

Here are a few examples:

Shirota Yuu (but of course he gets first dibs!), 2nd cast Tezuka Kunimitsu, starred in quite a number of J-dramas and still continues to do so even today! Some of the dramas to mention would be: Team Batista no Eiko, the Koshonin franchise (series and movie),Rookies (and its movie Rookies: Sotsugyou) and Samurai High School (aka Samurai Seventeen).

Aiba Hiroki, 2nd, 3rd and for a short time 5th cast Fuji Syuusuke, has a few of his own movies and series to brag about: Sukitomo, Tadashii Ouji no Tsukurikata and as Ikenami Ryuunosuke in the popular sentai series Samurai Sentai Shinkenger.

Watanabe Daisuke, 4th cast Tezuka Kunimitsu, is best known outside the TeniMyu universe to replace Kato Keisuke as Saki Giichi in the Takumi-kun Series movies 2 and 3. He stars opposite Hamao Kyousuke, 4th cast Kikumaru Eiji, who plays Hayama Takumi, as well as Agri in the newest sentai series Tensou Sentai Goseiger.

Furukawa Yuuta, 4th cast Fuji Syuusuke, starred in Fuuma no Kojirou and its musical counterpart, and will become a Kamen Rider in an upcoming Kamen Rider Trilogy movie.

Sakamoto Shougo, 4th cast Echizen Ryouma, won the role of Ciel Phantomhive in the firstKuroshitsuji musical, starring alongside Aoyagi Ruito, Original Hyoutei Cast's Mukahi Gakuto and Uehara Takuya, Shitenhouji A Cast's Oshitari Kenya.

Saito Takumi, Original Hyoutei Cast's Oshitari Yuushi, is most famous for his sash of yaoi movies, co-starring with Aiba Hiroki in Sukitomo, with Kotani Yoshikazu, 2nd cast Kawamura Takashi, in Boys Love.

It's sometimes interesting as well that there are some J-dramas or J-movies where the main cast is composed entirely of TeniMyu actors!!

Here's a few I know:

Tokyo Ghost Trip

Yagami Ren (Original Rikkai Cast's Yukimura Seiichi), JURI (Yamabuki's Original Akutsu Jin), Takiguchi Yukihiro (3rd Cast's Oishi Shuuichiro), Kiriyama Renn (Original Rikkai Cast's Marui Bunta) and Baba Ryouma (5th Cast's Tezuka Kunimitsu), plus Shindou Gaku(Rokkaku's Kurobane Harukaze)

Takumi-Kun III: Bibou no Detail

Watanabe Daisuke, Hamao Kyousuke, Takiguchi Yukihiro, Baba Ryouma, Acaba Mio(Rikkai 2 Cast's Marui Bunta), Saito Yasuka (Higa Cast's Hirokoba Rin) and Bishin Kawasumi (Shitenhouji B Cast's Zaizen Hikaru)

Cafe Daikanyama

Aiba Hiroki, Baba Toru (Original Rikkai Cast's Yagyuu Hiroshi), Kiriyama Renn andOokawa Genki (Original Rikkai Cast's Kirihara Akaya)

Life must be a hoot for them. xD