GIVING UP..

Lingo today was DAMN hard.
And I..on the other side,rather than answering the questions given..
Can only smile and laugh at the paper,..
Because the paper laugh at me also.
That is my limit.


I'm becoming more and more crazy each day.
Assuming I haven't reach Crazyland before.


And just like the title, I now am officially giving up.
I'm giving up on EVERYTHING.
On love..
On friendship..
On career...
On study...
On life.


I give up.
Standing and holding on, it was too long.
Too hard.
And it hurts.
I hate pain.
But no one does, right?
I tried to do my usual poker face.
Smile.
Never let anyone see what I have in mind,in heart.
I tried to be open minded.
I tried to be positive.
But I just can't.
Maybe my negativity dominate my physical and mental.


I'll just stay like this for awhile.
No one will notice.
Please don't let anyone notice.
I know,one day it will burst.
All these feelings,these thoughts,that I kept bottled inside.
Until I found that person,
Until I am prepared to shed a tear,
I'll just let it subside inside.


Because,,..
Like I said earlier,
I lied to everyone and I  lied to myself,
By saying that I don't need anyone.
By saying that I'm okay by myself.
When my lie came true,
I lied again to protect my heart.

"Isn't this what you want?"
"You'll be okay,you were alone 6 years ago."
"And you can go through this too."