"It's happening again. We're going to be apart for the second time."

"It's not like that. This is us meeting for the second time."

SMILE, HE SAYS.

But I can't anymore.

why do I have to keep losing you over and over again until I'm scared and all I can ever do is run away?

Roller Coaster

When you found a reason to be happy,
Life took it away.
It didn't just take it like it owns it,
It rips you from what you had,
And kicked you in the guts.

You were once on top,
Then you fell down hard.
Sometimes you just walk away with minor bruises.
Sometimes it takes time to start waking up and crawl.
Sometimes you just lay down there,
Waiting for someone to held out their hands and help you.
But in truth,
No one cares.
Truly care.
You need to be strong for yourself.
No one can.

most of the times I just wants to cry.
most of the times I just wants to sit and do nothing.
most of the times I just wants to sleep and pretends nothing happened.
but I deal with it most of the times.

most of the times I tried to toughen up.
most of the times I wanted to break down and wails my heart out.
most of the times I want to have a little bit of happiness my friends have.
but I turn to religion most of the times.

most of the times I brush the uneasiness away.
most of the times I make stupid jokes to ease my sadness.
most of the times I get jealous of my friends.
but I'm happy for them most of the times.

I'm childish not because I want to act bratty.
I'm whiny not because I want attention.
I'm moody because I'm tired of the same stupid things.
But in the end,
I'm just sad.

yuri.

I'm not much expert at yuri section like my sister.
I'm more of a yaoi expert.
And yuri..
Well,
Sometimes I get bored by them.
The only yuri manga I've really approved was Kannazuki no Miko.
But one particular manga I've always liked,
Renai Idenshi XX by Zaou Taishi and Eiki Eiki.
All these times,
I've read many yaoi mangas by these duo.
Like Love Stage, Aruji no Oose no Mama Ni(Your Word is My Command), Bokutachi wa Asu ni Mukatte Ikiru no da(We're Heading for The Future, Living For Tomorrow), Electric Hands, and Koi ha Ina Mono Mouna Mono (Mysterious Love).

But this particular yuri manga captured my eyes, like no other.
Not going to spoil it,
but here's a spoof!
Nyahahaha..

(friendship la sangat...)

from left: Aoi, Sakura,Matsuri and Mizuki

Now that we finally met,
I don't want to not seeing you again.
Maybe it's the result of hypnotism,
Or illusion of not seeing you after all these times.
Maybe it's because I'm too lonely.
But what I'm sure is it's because it's you.

The one I've been wanting to see after what seemed a very long time.

Stay by my side, won't you?

Movies and Books List 2013

movies:
Warm Bodies
Insidious 2
The Host (novel adaptation by Stephenie Meyer)
Make The Yuletide Gay 2
Hello Ghost
Judas Kiss
The ABCs of Death
Struck By Lightning (novel adaptation by Chris Colfer)
Curse of Chucky
Maggie
Mama
The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghost of Georgia
Cloudy 2
Frozen
Beautiful Creatures
Firelight (novel adaptation)
Hell and Back
Sam
Smurfs 2
Grown Ups 2
Rise of the Guardians
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters
Dorothy of Oz
Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn
Super 8

novels:
Lullaby (Wake's continuation)
Roald Dahl's compilation
The Time Traveler's Wife

busy,busy year. huff..

Shock.
Dah masuk hari keempat tak habes lagi menangis.
Tapi aku cuba.
Let go.
Tapi aku tak boleh buat ni sendiri.
Aku perlukan bantuan.
Tolong aku.

Ummi
Abah
Budak-budak ABAS 25 01
Budak Fatimah aras 3 aku tak tau nombor bilik

Terima kasih.

ramai junior suka dia
ramai sangat
super junior pun
rumate sendiri bagitau
Ya Allah Ya Allah
apa aku nak buat?
aku tak rasa aku dapat tahan kalau dia start kapel balik dengan orang lain

aku tak tau
aku tak tau
aku sendiri konfius ngan perasaan aku
tak tahan la macam ni
nak balik
nak balik
nak balik
dan tanak balik sini lagi...

Budak-budak tu

budak-budak berkromosom XX dari kelas aku.
Tu yang aku nak blab.

KAU TAK BOLEH PERCAYA LANGSUNG ATAU RELY APA-APA PUN DARI DORANG.
Kecuali Abid.

Aku pernah kena tikam belakang dari mulut tempayan.
Aku pernah kena tinggal sorang-sorang untuk buat kerja time berpasangan atau time aku pegang jawatan penting.
Aku pernah kena maki a.k.a threatened oleh orang gila yang sangka dia betul padahal nak carik pasal je.
Jadi,
conclusionnya,
what people see is not what you experienced.

Aku tak tahu apa masalahnya.
Kadang-kadang aku rasa bodoh sangat sebab senang nak maafkan orang.
Maybe sebab aku malas nak fikir banyak.
Tapi ada certain times aku susah nak maafkan bila benda tu buat aku stress / nangis.
Dan kadang-kadang aku fikir kenapa aku harus peduli apa diorang fikir pasal aku?
Diorang bukan watak penting dalam hidup aku pun.
Lepas grad nanti memang aku akan lupa nama,muka, maybe even kewujudan diorang.

Jadi,
after this,
I won't be a softy anymore.