For the past 20 years of my life,
Most of things I've done is,
Throwing people out of my life.
Maybe that's the reason why I cannot recall many faces,
Many memories.
The brain blocked it all out.
Erasing everything.

You'd think reading a motivation book from Dr.Tuah Iskandar would help.
But,
am I THAT incurable?
Feeling more depressed after shutting the book off.
Not feeling more motivated,
Or even the least bit helpful.
Or was it because I rejected the content?
Shunning everything else out?
Again?

It's not the matter of WHEN will I make the right decision.
It's the matter of WILL I be able to make the right decision.
If the decision made didn't hurt me,
It's hurting those around me.
Always.

It scares me.