Obsession took place.
Sanity doesn't helps anymore.
Desperate counters.
Excitements dwelling.
Hearts thumping.
And boom!!

Examination came.
Damn.

Moonlight

I don’t know how long I’ve been running, nor do I care. I just know I have to get away, escape from the creature and its rancid, hot breath. I can almost hear its heavy paws giving chase, snapping the slender branches on the ground as it covers the distance between us. The hair on the back of my neck rises and I have to force my fear down or else I’ll stop, my legs will give in and I won’t be able to go on.

I must not stop.

I must not turn back.

Suddenly, my foot gets caught in a raised root. I fall hard, scrapping my hands and knees with a few sharp rocks. I scramble back to my feet, cutting my right cheek with a nearby branch. The smell of blood registers first and I cover my nose and mouth with a trembling hand as I resume my desperate escape.

Nausea rises in me, along with another urge. I can feel it running through my veins, slowly poisoning my very soul with each ragged breath. But I’m still in range, I have to get away.

Pain hits me like a truck, demanding my immediate attention to what I know is unavoidable. It has finally reached me. I can’t go any further now. Oh, God, I tried! You know I tried! I close my eyes and let the images engulf me, the memories of the fatal night that changed my life forever. Sharp fangs covered in my blood flash before my terrified gaze before they resume their feast. I hear a gunshot, a painful whine and the voice of my rescurer in my mind, an echo of a time long past.

The creature was destroyed years ago, but I always recall the doomed chase in nights like this. It forces me to run faster, to place enough distance between us for the sake of those around me.

But it always catches up with me in the end.

Bones snap and rearrange themselves, wrapping me in pure agony. Thankfully, the process is quick and soon only my rough panting disrupts the otherwise silent park. Shaking the thick, black coat of fur covering this distorted version of what once was my human body, I feel my rationale slowly give in to the primal instincts that drive my hunger now.

It’s time for another chase, but this time, I’m the hunter.

I’m the creature.

more ramblings

YESSSS~!!!
I FINALLY LAID MY HANDS ON LIA HABEL'S "DEARLY DEPARTED"~!!!
along with two other books that I bought on a whim,
called "Wrecked" and "Wake".
plus the other two are closely related to water.
as I am very fond of water.
yes, I don't like to bathe.
too lazy to do it.
but to swim in an open sea,
it's like breathing.

So,
my mission downs to FOUR more books to go!
Firelight sequels; Vanish and Hidden,
Dearly Departed's sequel; Dearly Beloved,
and the new Watersong trilogy sequel; Lullaby.

I needs to know what happens after the Laz go crazy on all the red-beacon zombies. And Captain Abraham Griswold is one HANDSOME zombie~!!!!

aaand the crazy siren adventures continue.

I WILL FIND YOU, BY HOOK OR BY CROOK, AND I WILL READ YOU UNTIL I BECAME INSANE AND PUT YOU INTO MY PERSONAL LIBRARY~muahahahahahah *evil laugh*

second rambling:
Umi said she wanted to go to family trip to Ranau, Sabah this end of semester holiday.
not that I'm opposed to that trip,
but I feel like I've been away from ocean and sea for too long,
I missed it.
I wanted to go to islands.
As far as I'm concerned of my skin complexion,
I just have to sacrifice to being fair-skinned in order to be underwater again.
And that's something I'm willing to do.
I always rambles on how much of a "fire" person I am,
But waters calms me out.
I just wanted to go swim in open sea.
And not like the BEACH,
but a full-pledged SEA,
that has corals and everything.

third rambling:
if Dila said she wanted my sheer amount of knowledge in literature,
all I ever wanted is her diligence.
it doesn't matter how much of a genius one person is,
those who work harder than a lazy genius is omnipotent.
and that's how I view Dila.
and while rambling about other people,
no effort in reading PN,am I?
dammit I always talk the talk but can never walk the walk.

come back
come back to me
dear conscious
i have been living without you
since i listened to my heart
and apparently
it was the biggest mistake i made
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm deeply sorry
just come back to me

chain

exam is not far away from where I'm standing,
and all I could think of is...
what have I done with my life?
because from what I've faced, what I've done, what I said, what I DIDN'T said,
everything was a LIE.
a lie that I can't undone.
there's a chain that pulling me under,
it stuck on both of my feet,
and there's nothing I could do about it.
I can't help MYSELF,
how am I supposed to help ANYONE?
or even my future students?

the invisible hands are pulling my chains deeper,
I can't do anything but abide by it.

help me break this chain, please.

Little Girl

It just sank in.
The little girl had no life.
She merely reflects the life of others and implement it on her.
She has nothing of her own.
She laughs and cries for the things that wasn't hers.
The little girl thought she had everything.
She can have ANYTHING she wanted if she just struggled, holding on, keep on fighting.
That's the naivete she had in her mind.
For 20 years.
And why is it that 20-year old person is still a little girl?
Because eventhough her body changes,
Her mind doesn't.
It never moves on.
Up until now.
When will she can truly call a thing, a person, a memory, of her own?
The feeling of despair keeps stabbing in,
She didn't realize,
She lost 20 years for a mere memory,
That wasn't even hers to keep.

A time, honey, isn't something you can take back.
It will pass, and you will realize that you can't do it over.

She looks at that person,
That person cries,
And she felt the same throbbing pain,
For she had faced the same thing.

Little girl,
Why don't you cry for that person?

Because even my feelings aren't true.
None of it.

just a little bit of acknowledgement.

bukan untuk dibesar-besarkan.

bukan untuk dibangga-banggakan.

tapi berterima kasih sedikit pun takpe.

dan faham keadaan.

jangan buat aku pikir tindakan tu semata-mata ambik kesempatan atas apa yang aku ada.

aku rasa aku dipergunakan.
salah ke aku pikir macam ni?

I'm sick of it.
You always get hurt because of me.
It's all my fault.
Everything, up until now,
everything is a lie.
A made-up story.
How can I return back to the start?

Courage

Courage, KLAINERS, COURAGEEEEE~~!!!

Drabbling My Heart Out

DEAR BLAINE ANDERSON,

There are many things you’ve done in these years and I am proud to say I’ve sat and seen you through all of it:
I’ve seen you being an oblivious boy who didn’t realise how much Kurt already loved you. I’ve seen you doubt about yourself and who you are. I’ve seen you fall in love with the amazing man that is Kurt Hummel. I’ve seen you hesitate before you kissed him for the fi

rst time. I’ve seen you singing your heart out on stage. I’ve seen you sad for being the shadow of your older brother. I’ve seen you admiting how much it changed you when you got beat up for being who you are. I’ve seen you being braver than no other and asking your boyfriend to dance with you in the middle of his junior prom. I’ve seen you serenade your boyfriend in front the whole school. I’ve seen you being insecure about your relationship and the imminent changes that might come in the future. I’ve seen the light of hope in your eyes when you were told things wouldn’t change and that in just a year things would be the same again.

I’ve seen you being stupid, funny and optimistic. I’ve seen you being negative, sad and angry. I’ve seen you laugh. I’ve seen you cry. I’ve seen you be there for those who need it and I’ve seen how you shine with your own light

Now I’ve seen you fuck up in the worse way possible. I’ve seen you hurt someone you love. I’ve seen you making horrible decisions  I’ve seen you singing an apology out of desperation  I’ve seen you admitting being with someone else. I’ve seen you breaking Kurt’s heart. I’ve seen you hate yourself for it. I’ve seen you regret it.
Do you feel bad, Blaine? Do you regret it? Are you feeling horrible about yourself? Because you should. Imagine how Kurt feels right now when it was you the one who told him to go and follow his dreams. Imagine how much he’s hurting when he was finally shining as he always should’ve and had to hear that you cheated on him. It sucks, doesn’t it? It hurts like shit? Good.

Now I really want you to cry for days until you simply can’t cry anymore and after you’ve done that, I want you to wipe your tears away and stand up. I want you to get out of your house and go to school. I want you to be the best Senior Class President McKinley High has ever had. I want you to give Kurt space to figure himself out. I want you to be the leader New Directions needs. I want you to figure out what do you want to do with your life and your future. I want you to ask for help is that what you need. I want you to realize that you don’t need to stay next to anyone to find yourself.

I want you to apologize to Kurt in every way possible. I want you to give him the moon if he asks you to. I want Kurt to reject you several times and for you to keep trying harder everytime he does. I want you to make him fall in love with you all over again. I want you to prove that you’re the best option Kurt has. I want you to make him happy. I want you to restore the trust you broke.
But above all I want you to learn. I want you to put your head up high. I want you to come stronger out of all this. I want you to grow up and realise the many ways you can do things better. I want you to succeed. I want you to shine. I want you to be happy.

Will you, Blaine? Will you promise me to do all that? Because if you do, I promise to stay with you during every step of the way, no matter what happens. And if you think you don’t deserve it, think again. Because you deserve everything, too. I love you, Blaine Anderson. I always had and I always will.
Live your life, fix the mistakes you made and be as happy as you deserve and in exchange, I promise to never give up on you.

Always yours,
Someone who will always believe in you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's a moment when you say to yourself...
"Oh, there you go, but I'll still ship you forever."
You during 'The Break-up' this week was that moment for me...about you.
You move me, Klaine.
And waiting 5 weeks will just be another excuse to read fanfiction and love you more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another thing I’d like to mention. This is more about Kurt.

If you don’t think Kurt can forgive Blaine after cheating, you don’t know anything about Kurt. 

He forgave:
Finn for calling him a fag and humilating him in his own house.
Puck for all teh slushies and dumpster tosses.
KAROFSKY for..Oh do you live on another planet???

Kurt is an amazing and compassionate person. If he forgave Karofsky,

 he can forgive Blaine.

If Kurt forgives Karofsky and not Blaine then there is someting seriously wrong with the world.

6 haribulan 10,2012.

Hari ni bufdey Jowy.
Sepatutnya benda baik.
Tapi aku dapat 2 berita "kurang baik".

1)Ricchan finally confesses.
"I like you."
Dan aku thoroughly fikir pasal benda ni.
Dah lama dah.
Sebab aku tak boleh.
Tak mungkin.
Aku sayang dia,
Tapi sebagai kawan.
Dan satu lagi shock ialah,
Dia macam tak boleh terima yang aku rejek dia.
Saying "Let's get married" and all.
But I know it's bound to happen.
I don't want to cheat myself.
And I don't want to lead him further.

My answer is "no".
And please don't wait,
Because it'll always be "no".

2)Adinda messaged,
"Rumah naik pencuri.Nothing was stolen except my laptop."
The main thing is not the laptop.
It's THEIR SAFETY.
I'd LITERALLY DIE IF ANYTHING BAD HAPPENS TO ANY OF THEM.
Tapi Alhamdulillah,semua okey.
Semua selamat.
Tu je yang aku perlu tahu.
Semua selamat.

Bila fikir-fikir balik.
Dua benda datang serentak kat aku hari ni.
Ni mungkin salah satu cara ALLAH SWT tunjukkan yang DIA sayang aku.
Aku terima kalau aku kehilangan salah seorang besfren aku hanya sebab aku tolak cinta dia.
Aku terima kalau family aku dapat rugi material.
Dan aku bersyukur sangat-sangat yang takde sapa-sapa cedera.
ALLAH SAYANG AKU.
KALAU TAK DIA TAKKAN UJI AKU DUA BENDA SEKALIGUS.

La Tahzan ya Abbi,
La Tahzan ya Ummi,
La Tahzan ya Ukhti..
La Tahzan ya Akhi..

KLAINE SHIPPING

Combining my passion of literature and my amateur-ish experience in photography.
Can I make a novel out of it?
Or if it's too much,
A thin layered book?

Too much Glee this week.
And it just breaks my heart.
I'm literally mourning for Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson.

Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, "Oh,there you are. I've been looking for you forever." Watching you do Blackbird this week, that was a moment for me. About you. - Blaine Anderson, The Original Song.

I'm not falling in love with Blaine,yes, he is cute.
But what I fell in love is THEIR LOVE.

Like I said before,
Falling in love is a long process.
And that's how THEY started.
Not with a "bam!"

I just hope they don't break up.
Because then, there will be no reason to watch Glee anymore.

HOPELESS ROMANTIC~!!

Stress Week (Semester?)

Examination.
Heartbreak.
Klaine breakups.

And latest:
SPEAKERS' CORNER.

I'm starting my own gardening,
I'm planting "JERAWAT",
on my forehead.
I call it "STRESS GARDEN".

I've handed you a fragile heart
Hoping you would take care of it
I should have seen it coming
That you would trample it
And gave it back to me
In a condition where I can no longer repair it.
Thank you, live a happy life.