I hadn't seen so much action in months.
I was a hypocrite.
A walking contradiction.
Both alive and dead, both a leader and nothing like it, both with my friends and occasionally against them, both embracing my feelings and sometimes hating my own guts.
He was the only thing that made sense.
He was the only unchanging thing in my universe.
He was my lodestar.
No matter which way my emotions and circumstances and the impulses of my dead, dying, trying body pulled me,
No matter how many mistakes I made,
He was always true north.
Sometimes I'd side with the dead,
sometimes with the living,
but always with him.
"As long as I have one leg and an eyeball left, I will always return to you."
My biggest fear is that one day he'll decay enough to tell me the truth- that he hates me for what I did to him.
That he blamed me when I decided to kill him so that he would live.
I just get confused sometimes. Okay, most of the times.
About what to do,
Who to side with.
You're the only thing I'm never confused about.
come back soon, okay? Because I'm breaking down bits by bits without you here.
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