You stand still,
Smelling the air around you,
The damp earth and fresh-cut grass,
And rot of things new and unspoken of,
Things being born,
Things being raised from the Earth.

But not before you,
Before you is your own.

One of the few that you love.

Pesky and annoying and bossy and ever so bittersweet,
One who you loved to hate and hated to love,
But did anyway.

You've lost everything important to you,
And it's all your fault,
For being stupid enough to fall for that.

Your subconscious is stuck behind the idea that it is entirely your fault.

It's all your fault. You're the one to blame.

Loneliness sinking to the depths of your soul.
It's your punishment,
Your atonement,
Your life all wrapped in one.

You hate them because they made you happy,
And you don't want to be happy.
You even admit to yourself ;
You'd rather drown in your anger and pity than do anything else.

Why do you do this?
Why are you always surrounded by deaths?
Why can't you just be.... normal?

You wonder why the earth around you can be so happy 
When everything you love is being ripped away from you.

You spend more time brooding.
There is no longer anything here for you.

Can darkness turn to light?

 So many bad things happened here.
You've been waiting to smile.

What do you do when you don't know what to do?
What if everything that you thought you believe just disappear in one second?

You want to run away but you can't.
You want to be okay but you are not.
Life is not easy and never will be.

Nothing compares to the difficulty of saying goodbye to your past.