His Hand In Marriage

"I think I am going to ask for his hand in marriage after we graduate." 

Was what I told Mum when I came back a couple of days ago.
I don't know it was the flu talking, 
Or me being hormonally irrational, 
I just blurted it out of the blue. 
I was expecting Mum to shrug it off, 
Or laugh at it casually, 
But she patted me on the head and say, 
"I know you achieved such a long road to just recover back,
And I don't know why are you sprouting such things right now, 
But maybe yous should REDHA of what happened, 
Let it go completely,
God stores something much more bigger.
You love him so much you don't see other things in front of you, 
Other people who wants the same opportunity, 
And you play around to fill the emptiness. 
For what, 
If it only takes you back to him each time?
Redha my darling. 
I took you more than a year, 
Now redeem those years and live as you should. 
Happily." 

Mum rarely gives long speech about my love life. 
She always think that I can manage it well.
But when it comes to that person, 
I am never well. 

I distinctly remembers about living my single life to the fullest, 
Backpacking and all,
But sometimes all I ever wanted was him.