I Can See The Path Again

There will always be consequences when you start something.

Can I live with a narcissist, attention-seeker, selfish, and a psychopath?

Hell, no.

If this starting point makes me feels deteriorate,
My soul is crumbling pieces by pieces,
I need to be firm and get out of this hell hole.

I was so envious of my friends.
They found their halves.

What I found are always some testosterone-induced weirdoes,
That only sees me on the outside.
My fault for being a hypocrite.

Because the only man who sees me in my flaws,
When I am being hormonal,
Childish,
Crazy,
Sulky,
The times when I push him away,
Was only him.
My heart was beating 100 miles per second when the jade bracelet he gave me was broken.
I was thinking, 
"Is this a sign that I need to erase him from my everything?"
But he used to be my everything.
The one thing I used to be so certain of.
And here I want someone of mine,
A baby boy having his name.

Cariad. 

The person who loves me at my worst.

I can't be mad at Ricchan for still reminiscing his love memories with Atheera,
Since I do that too.

After him,
I learned to be a hypocrite.
With him,
I was myself.

Now I can see the path again.
I can see my backpacking journey,
I can see myself building a library,
I can see myself do things I want to with my parents,
With my friends.

I can see the way again.

The path that I drew, I can see it again.

Thanks Saba, Jai, Zetty, Dila, Said, Munee, Ricchan, Amir.

Thank you.