Loud and Clear

You always give off hints.

Lately, I mean.

Is it because you know I won't be able to notice?

You're doing this on purpose,didn't you?

Unfortunately, I did.

I deciphered every meaning behind those words.

It's your way of saying,

"I love you but we can never be together."

It's okay, though.

Just promise me you'd make me your priority before someone else enters your life.

That's my only selfish request.

Impossible.

I can't.
I thought I could.
But I can't.
Sometimes it feels like I'm letting go.
But then I realized I'm still hanging on.

What's the reason?
Is it distance?
The mere memories of you?
Us?
The fact that I can't have you?
Or was it because I'm too stubborn?

Take me back to the start.

It was just a simple mistake.
But the price I have to pay was endless.

A simple mistake.

WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE ONE CONFRONTING CRAZY PEOPLE???

I'm sorry I'm such a burden.
It's best if you leave me behind.
It's easier to just annoy myself rather than being nuisance to others.
Because then,
I won't have to think about taking care of other's feelings.

I'm not mad.
I'm just frustrated.
Mostly at myself.
Why the HELL did I open up my barrier and let people into my life?
That was the biggest mistake I ever did.
And now I can't undo it.
Damn it.
Damn it.
Damn it all.

I'm building it up again.

wounds

It's not that I am not sensitive or even sometimes hurt by cruel words.
It's just that I don't want to make a fuss about it,
And tried to brush it off.
I know somehow,
One day,
It'll get to me one way or another.
But I am just too tired to argue.
Too sad to reciprocate.
Too depressed to defend myself.

I guess I can never turn back to the person I used to be.

and the wounds in your heart keeps increasing until there's no medicine for it left.

"I don't want to hurt you"

But I'm already broken.