The Chaser and The Avoider

That moment when you realized you can't be friends,
And you lost them forever.
I am thankful that even though I rejected Ricchan,
He still wants to be my friend.

But this isn't about Ricchan,
It's about a story that I read just awhile ago.

Let me tell you something.
I am not a sympathizer.
I feel easier to sympathize and empathize towards animals rather than humans.
Because humans attract their own problems.
LIKE ME.
I attract problems.
I am the magnet for problems,catastrophes, you name it.
So here it is.

The story revolved around a pair of bestfriends since high schools.
Their friends know that the main character is in love with the other one.
But the other one is oh-so-airheaded!!
So the main character kept silent until they both graduated from high school.
But right before the graduation ceremony,
He confessed to his bestfriend.

The story doesn't end here.
THIS BESTFRIEND,
Who is a stupid,air-headed,dim-witted bastard GOT MARRIED.
And the main character who confessed to his bestfriend,
Went to the wedding.
Sobbing endlessly at the back of the church.
Hoping one day,
Knowing he will never get a chance,
His heart will forget his bestfriend who was with him since,
FOREVER.

Four years passed,
And the main character subsided slowly,
Their friends kept silent,
Telling the one who got married that the main character was oversea.
But they knew better.
If they met,
The one who fell in love will hurt more.
But this married person,
Despite knowing not to be able to reciprocate the main character's feelings,
Always knew..

They are so close yet so far apart.

After four years.
Four years this air-headed person finally realizes,
If the main character able to throw away those feelings in order to be the long-lost bestfriend,
"I've lost him".

"I've loved you too much."
"I never realized up until now that your existence had become more important to me than myself".

Somehow,
this story really makes my heart ache.
Because in stories,
We control the endings.
Of course we wanted the good ones.
But in real life,
If we didn't realize early enough,
We might lose somebody important to us.
And now,
I feel like if I'm not observant enough,
I'm going to lose something important.
Only I don't know what it is.
I am scared.
I don't want to lose anything,
Or anyone ever again.
I am not that strong.
I don't want to chase my own shadow,
And I don't want to avoid something that is important in my life.

When you are busy chasing the unimportant part of your life, the important part is leaving you.

and sometimes when I realized I've lost it,it's too late to gain it back.