It'll Always Be Him

This seemed like a Déjà vu.
It'll always come back to him.
Always.
Maybe because I was too comfortable.
The comfort of him.
Giving his opinion.
Being unsubtle.
Tried to make me laugh.
But know enough to let me solve my own problems.
It's not like other people didn't know.
But Amir.
Amir knows the most.
And sometimes I even think he knows more.

Because in the end,
Even if it is problem,
Or happiness,
Sadness,
Guilt,
Depression,
Anger,
Or sometimes uncontrollable wrath and rage,
I will find myself searching for him,
My other half,
My best friend,
Amir bin Ibrahim. 

And sometimes it scared me,
That I will have to be independent,
Away from him,
I'd lost the comfort,
It is not the same,
Other people.
Even my own beau.
I am sorry,
But I don't think I can open up to other people,
As much as I opened up myself to him.
And up until now,
I don't know how or why,
He has the different kind of affection towards me,
Probably because of his words,
Never sugarcoats anything.
Relaxed,
Soothing words,
Without even meaning to console me.

What if one day I will lose this comfort?

I will lose you to someone else?

It is scary, more than any problems in this world combined.

I don't want to face that day when it comes.