I Want It All.

I'm not going to lie.
Everyone on this Earth wants something, EVERYTHING, but few can barter with the same amount of hard work for the things they want.
We can learn with those people around us.
We can learn with the condition we're in.
We can learn by not being oblivious to what is happening nowadays.

And the thing I want will never be achieved unless I give up the thing I don't want to let go of; my freedom.

The thing is,
What I dreaded the most is accomplished by Godforsaken married people.
No, don't go that way, oh daughter of Noorliza and Wan Yahya.
Yes, I wanted a child.
But I don't want to get married.
I don't want a husband.
I can't cope living with a stranger.
They say when you got married,
You will be married with your spouse's family too.
I am no people-person.
I do not associate my future with a husband.
Yes, I am 21 nearing 22.
It is perfectly normal to think about marriage.
But I don't want marriage.

I just want a bundle of joy and unicorn and rainbow that comes in a form of a baby boy or a baby girl.
Because a child comes from his or her mother,
I can guarantee that a mother can call her child "hers" and only "hers".

In this world,
I only want two things.
To grant Mom's wish ( her Holland-trip thingy)
And having a child of my own.
But I never considered marriage.
Not now.
And possibly not ever.
So that is why,
The object of my wish (and hope) is something I cannot obtain without giving away my freedom as an unmarried person.

It's driving me insane.