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He has seen his entire world fall apart right before his eyes these last few months, 
And now he has seen it turn into ashes,
Slipping through his fingers.

It is nothing like Derek imagined.
He thought it's going to be dramatic,
Not that peaceful.

Stiles not even fighting for a moment,
Just letting go.

But it still rips everything out of him.

Losing a pack member is like losing a limp,
It hurts a lot,
It costs you a lot of blood,
And sometimes you feel like you can still feel it right there,
Because it hurts so much.
But you can cope,
You can adapt to the situation and keep going.

But losing Stiles is completely different.
Losing your mate is like losing your heart
Your soul,
Everything that makes you you.
Without a heart,
He's just going to be an empty vessel.

Derek doesn't wish for another heart,
Because there isn't one.
He only got one.

And now it's gone.

How is someone supposed to live without a heart,
Without a spark of life?
Derek doesn't know.

Because he's gone.

"I love you, you're my mate."

"I know."