Of Getting Married Early

Today,
When we drove back to IPG for the last time for this year's Ramadhan,
Jai asked me;
"Kau perasan tak kenapa takde sorang pun dalam geng kita yang cakap 
AKU NAK KAHWIN CEPAT-CEPAT?"

I was taken aback by her question.
And after some thinking,
I answered,
"Maybe sebab kita jenis yang tak pikir sangat pasal benda ni.
Maksud aku,
Even kau, Saba & Zetty yang dah ada calon pun,
Korang tak terhegeh-hegeh nak kahwin awal.
Kau ada hobi lain yang nak dibuat dengan duit selain dari kahwin,
Saba nak kasi duit kat mak ayah dia dulu,
Dan Zetty jenis yang tak kisah mana-mana pun,
Maksudnya dia berserah je kat boyfren dia nak buat apa nanti.
Said is on top of the social status,
So kita tahu dia takde masa nak layan pasal lelaki ni semua,
Aku dan Dila,
Kau tau la gila kitorang macam mana,
Dan frankly aku rasa hati aku dah tertutup since Syidi."

That was my answer.
We talked some more about how our little circle is not like any other girls,
Girls our age (20s).
That Jai voiced her uneasiness of us not being "Perempuan Melayu Terakhir",
Or "Gadis Ayu".
But we aren't even real Malays, literally.

Saba and Dila are Bugis,
Said is Minang,
Jai is Bisaya,
Zetty is, well, Penang,
But you get my idea,
And I'm still blur about my bloodline (LOL).

But her inquiries made me think about it for awhile.
Yes,
We have more important things to do in our youths,
Rather than getting married at early age.

But to counterattack my own words,
There is an Islamic saying that,
"If you want to get rich, 
Marry early."
The problem is,
None of us think like that.

I want to do so much things when I have money,
Rather than spending it on my dowry.

And so do they.

It is just that our minds doesn't only restricted on getting married.
But with different ideas,
Different reasons,
Different causes.

Maybe the reason is our parents,
Maybe the cause is traumatic due to brokenhearted,
Maybe there are many things that can be achieved when you are not in commitment,
Maybe you just feel the other party can do whatever they want,
Or maybe you're just comfortable being on your own.

I can't promise if in the future I will still think like this,

But for the present,

This is my idea on getting married early.

Liaison and Future Planning

I cannot help myself from thinking about it.
In lieu of making amend to what I precariously brought upon myself,
There are two things that trudging back to my mind.

She was right by making that decision.
By disengaging herself from the people that she thought are pulling away from her,
At least she feels at peace knowing that nothing could harm her anymore.
Or the other way around.
If she feels happier and more secure this way,
I hope she feels more at ease.
I want her to be happy.
She deserves it.

And now I feel like that.
Probably because there were many incidents enough,
And now the lines are shouting "labile" and "breakable" and "fragile",
and "untrustworthy".

Maybe it is what time give to people in associates.
You just... see.

The second thing is future planning.

I finally found my partner in crime,
For travelling around the world.
Ricchan gave me his word.
With him having experience travelling,
It would be the coolest thing to go backpacking and seeing the world with him.

Post-graduation,
Ricchan promised me.
Florence, Venice, Rome, Italy.
Moscow, Vyborg, Petrozavodsk, Saint Petersburg, Russia.
Istanbul, Turkey.

After I am not tied with IPG,
We only have to check the time we are going and collect ourselves some money.
Amir would kill me.
But I want to live.
I want to see the world.
It doesn't matter if the destinations are not popular,
There are precious things called experience.

And being tied up,
In marriage,
It is not what I include in my future.
In the distant future probably.
But not in the near 10 years.

Thinking about my aim in future give me jitters.
A good kind of jitters.
Imagining that when we check in to an alien place,
Where people don't speak our natives,
Go where our feet take us,
And just absorb everything.

I want that.

I want to go to Istanbul twice because first, Mom wanted to see the tulips.

I want to give her that.

Second is my own selfish reason. I want to see the farthest my feet could take me.