"It" Came Back.

It's the same feeling.

Damn,
WHY DO I HAVE TO FEEL THIS ALL OVER AGAIN???
What wrong did I do???

The first time this feeling came,
was when my first broke up.
With ASZ.

I should feel mad,I WANTED to be angry at him,
But I just couldn't.

One day,
I found out he had an accident.
Not a bad one,
But still,
an accident.
And the only thing that came in my mind was,
"Please be alright,please make it alive,please get out from there without any scratch,
I won't get mad,I promise,
Just,please, be alright".

It was stupid,right?
But,yes, I couldn't get mad at him.
And because of that,
we remained friends right now.
And I noticed that my feelings has subsided.
I'm content with our relationship.

The second one,
with HIM.
This person,
who once replaced the position of the other person,
And the only one whom I thought I would have a future with,
But,
maybe it wasn't written in Luh Mahfuz,
of our story.

I was trying to get over it,
I tried.
I really did.
But lately,
the same thing happened again.

WHY DOES ALL MY EXES(THE ONES I REALLY FELL IN LOVE) ALWAYS INVOLVED IN MISHAPS???
IT'S LIKE THEY'VE DRAWN TO THINGS LIKE THAT!!!

And I,
Tried to harden my heart,
So that I won't fill the remainder of my love for him with compassion,
Tried to ignore HIM and my FEELINGS.

But alas,
I can never control this feeling,
IT controls ME.
And all I ever wanted,
was for him to get better.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET BETTER.I'D DO ANYTHING(IF ONLY I COULD),THAT'S WHY I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU.I DON'T WANT TO GET HEARTBROKEN AGAIN.