Everything

If I talk about everything that has happened in this week,
I'd go crazy.
Because there are some things that aren't related at all,
But I need to let it out my system anyways.

But here's one thing,
In just one week,
God is showing me how to live without anyone.
Like literally.

I don't remember how,
But from the first day since school weekend,
I got into a nasty cold war with the girls AND Amir.
We never badmouth each other,
Just stops talking altogether.
Well,
The thing with the girls has passed anyway.
And that is thanks for Saba for telling me why do they feel intimidated by me.
Which is fairly weird and hilariously amusing,
Since in the group,
I am the least intimidating,
And the one who seems to be the most least vengeful and fierce.

But Amir,
Well it is weird how I can cope with him,
Since his honest-to-God-I-will-slice-your-heart mouthy brat never fails to make other people hurts,
And I just shrug it off.
Being 18 years dancing around each other do that to you.
But I don't know why the thing he said a few weeks ago,
Pierced my heart.
I don't like it at all.
But I missed the guy.
I missed talking to him.
And when I told Ricchan about it,
He just says it is time for us to be independent from each other.

So now I'm binge-watching English series to run away from reality.
Which makes sense why there are a lot of things going on in my head lately.

And boys problem.
I don't need anymore problem than I already have, please.
I remember distinctly telling Amir about those three guys proposing me last few weeks.
Of which two of them are (were) my acquaintances.
I know it is not easy for guys to step up and asking my hand in marriage,
But for some reason I still have that question in mind,
"WHY ME?"
Just please,
Please forget about me.
I am not emotionally and psychologically available,
Thank you.

And just last night I blurted out to Said to delete her pics of HIM or just tell him to come propose me next two years. I didn't know why I said that. Dammit.