"It" Came Back.

It's the same feeling.

Damn,
WHY DO I HAVE TO FEEL THIS ALL OVER AGAIN???
What wrong did I do???

The first time this feeling came,
was when my first broke up.
With ASZ.

I should feel mad,I WANTED to be angry at him,
But I just couldn't.

One day,
I found out he had an accident.
Not a bad one,
But still,
an accident.
And the only thing that came in my mind was,
"Please be alright,please make it alive,please get out from there without any scratch,
I won't get mad,I promise,
Just,please, be alright".

It was stupid,right?
But,yes, I couldn't get mad at him.
And because of that,
we remained friends right now.
And I noticed that my feelings has subsided.
I'm content with our relationship.

The second one,
with HIM.
This person,
who once replaced the position of the other person,
And the only one whom I thought I would have a future with,
But,
maybe it wasn't written in Luh Mahfuz,
of our story.

I was trying to get over it,
I tried.
I really did.
But lately,
the same thing happened again.

WHY DOES ALL MY EXES(THE ONES I REALLY FELL IN LOVE) ALWAYS INVOLVED IN MISHAPS???
IT'S LIKE THEY'VE DRAWN TO THINGS LIKE THAT!!!

And I,
Tried to harden my heart,
So that I won't fill the remainder of my love for him with compassion,
Tried to ignore HIM and my FEELINGS.

But alas,
I can never control this feeling,
IT controls ME.
And all I ever wanted,
was for him to get better.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET BETTER.I'D DO ANYTHING(IF ONLY I COULD),THAT'S WHY I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU.I DON'T WANT TO GET HEARTBROKEN AGAIN.

LETIH.

Sem ni,,....
aku tak sanggup nak hadapi sem ni.
Serabut byk sgt.
Ramai jgk yg sama mcm aku.
Tapi perasaan aku tak sedap je.
Macam ada something wrong yg akan berlaku.
Something yg aku akan regret.

Letih.
Jadual padat sangat.
Sebab terbiasa hidup melenggang je sejak masuk sini.

Letih.
Sebab kene crammed dengan kelas-kelas lain.
Dan buatkan aku rasa vulnerable,takut,anxious.

Letih.
Sebab pandai mana pun aku cuba sorokkan,
I still look out,
searching for his silhouette,
Aku perasan,
tapi aku ignore perasaan aku,
Aku cuba distract agar feelings of love,of compassion, won't overwhelm me,
Aku cuba keraskan hati.
Setakat ni masih boleh...

Dan aku letih.
Menghadap muka yang aku tahu,
akan buat aku fail untuk kali pertamanya.
Jadi kenapa aku belajar?
Walaupun aku tahu aku akan fail?

Cocoa Otoko

Well,
as concluded,
I am pretty obsessed with TeniMyu lately,
and in Hyoutei Gakuen,
I am particularly putting my focus on Atobe,Choutaroh, and Shishido.
A few days ago,
I found out Kenken (who plays Shishido) had a rock band called
"ココア男"
which basically translated into...
"Cocoa Otoko"
The word "Cocoa" is because all members love chocolates (and chocolates are made from cocoas, duh).
Otoko in Japanese means - male,boys,men
But,when I was about to know this band better,
They were disbanded March ago.
Damn.
I was late.
But I was able to hear and watch Kenken's singing skills not as Shishido,
but as himself.
And he is...awesome.Absolutely AWESOME.
Plus, I'm kinda addicted with their song "REBIRTH".
I loved Kenken's face expressions.
It's cute.

from left:kei,kou-chan,kenken,takuya,shogo

Another thing,
I googled about Hosogai Kei, who was one member of Cocoa Otoko,
and other than Okamoto Keito of Hey!Say Jump,
he speaks English VERY WELL.
It's not every day you see Japanese speaks English perfectly.
And Hosogai was in TAKUMI-KUN SERIES:NIJI IRO NO GARASU as Takabayashi.
HOW CAN I NOT NOTICE????
DAMN.

Takabayashi~~~~!!!!

Impression On The D-Boys

After balik dari prank Dila tadi,
Aku baca Ito Junji punya horror manga,
dengar Cocoa Otoko punya "Rebirth",
dan randomly browsing. 
Sekarang pukul 3:22 pagi,
Rumate masih belum pulang,
and I got things to blab


TITLE: MY FIRST IMPRESSION ON THE D-BOYS

PRESENT MEMBERS:

Endo Yuya- In TeniMyu, I can't remember much about my impression of him but in D-BOYS, I believe that he is Yanagi's other half.

Yanagi Kotaro- The first time I saw him, it was during the first TeniMyu and I definitely loved his voice and his cool dancing...  Then in D-BOYS, it was something like, "What are you doing?"

Igarashi Shunji- Such a naughty boy... based from the pictures in his blog...

Wada Masato- Athletic enough to run for 180km... I was able to watch DD-BOYS before the Yamabuki part...

Suzuki Hiroki- "Ore wa kakkoii~" (DD-BOYS again! I can't remember that in CinePuri)

Araki Hirofumi- The Inui that lacks height... We laughed at him when we watch CinePuri because of that.. But the voice... *faints*

Kaji Masaki- Someone who don't stay and behave in one place...

Seto Koji- "Why is that D-BOYS is full of cute boys????"

Nakagawa Shingo- I don't remember much of him but I know his name and his face...

Yanagishita Tomo- Koji's other half. I only recognized him when Koji told something about him...

Makita Tetsuya -"Who are you again?" He was a new member when I left the fandom years ago...

Usui Masahiro - "Eh??? I'm older than you???"

Mikami Masashi- "What the--?! You're in D-BOYS too???" I saw him first in Jyuken Sentai Gekiranger VS Boukenger...

Adachi Osamu- "Why can't I see much acrobatics in you???? Kikumaru should, right?" (Can't remember much in CinePuri...)

Takahashi Ryuki- I saw him first in a magazine clipping that a senpai randomly bought for me... I was like "Hmmmm... Ryuki sounds like a Kamen Rider but... Don't know you" *Puts the clipping under Yanagi x Yuya's one...* I know I'm cruel but that's really what I did...

Hashimoto Taito- At first, I was like, "So cool!" Then when I got to know hin in TeniMyu as well as in D-BOYS, "KAZARI??? You're Fuji??? You're in D-BOYS???" I'm just so surprised because I LOVE Kazari so much in Kamen Rider OOO...

Yamada Yusuke- "What kind of face is that?" I told my brother when we first saw him in Kamen Rider OOO...

Horii Arata-  "Not bad, eh.." I saw him first in the PV of Day by Day...

~~~~~

FORMER MEMBERS:

Shirota Yuu- Someone who usually don't act his age... Always younger...

Nakamura Yuichi- He was so cool and seems to be easy to be with... I saw him first in Kamen Rider Den-O...

Minakawa Yuma- A very hardworking person... If I'm not mistaken, he was challenged to learn acrobatics in DD-BOYS...

Kumai Kouhei- He's the youngest D-BOYS member when I entered the fandom and I think he's cool at his age based from the pictures in his blog...

Nakamura Masaya -Just the same reaction with Makki...

Pranksters

A day to let it all out.
A day to forget our problems.
A day to bring smile to a precious friend.
Not just her,
but all of us.
Yes,a mishap happens.
But it doesn't mean I hate them.
I won't.
I can't.
And the good thing, the bad thing,
It'll be a memory,
One day,
We can laugh about it.
In the future.

I love you guys.Girls.Whatever.

Jai's taped drama drabble 3

my last drabble, focusing on Jai and her video-taped drama.

scene: someone messed with the video recorder and got Jai mad.

“YAAAHHHHHH!!!!! WHO THE HELL DID SUCH A THING?”

The loud squeal made everyone in the dorm look up, eyes wide with fear and surprise.

“Mmm?” Ana mumbled as she walked out of her room, rubbing her eyes and yawning lazily.

Once her vision was cleared of the crusty mucus stuck to the corners of her eyes, Ana squinted and saw the other members all sitting down on the couch in the living room, an angry looking Jai standing in front of them.

Scratching the shaggy clump of licorice black waves on her head, she looked at Jai and back at the other members and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

Jai shifted to one side, hands placed on the lean waist, and said between clenched teeth, “Someone messed with the video recorder yesterday… so when I played the tape today, THE SECOND HALF OF THE GLEE DRAMA, WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TAPED, WAS CUT OFF.” 

The sound of Said gulping loudly was like a gigantic tidal wave against the silence that followed Jai’s outburst.

There is a saying that people who are usually nice and never get mad, no matter how much you tease, annoy, or anger them, are seriously scary, because they have the potential of having a huge outburst when the pressure is too much to take or when something totally unforgivable happens.

Everyone knew better than to anger the angelic Jai, always only teasing her playfully during classes or at home, never daring to go any further.

But apparently someone had. 

And that someone was going to be in deep shit.

Especially when it was something as important as a Glee drama, and not just any Glee drama, but the final episode.

“Um… I was talking to Kuzec yesterday… and I came home around 11pm… took a quick shower and hopped into bed.” Said said quietly.

“Yeah, I got back from my recordings around 11:30pm and bumped into Said…” Saba said.

Rolling her eyes at the other two, Dila said, “It definitely wasn’t me either… I was in my room, studying…”

This made them all roll their eyes, as they knew the only thing Dila studied was R-rated material.

“What?” Dila yelled out, looking totally offended. “I was!!”

“Yeah, and I’m Jennifer Lopez.” Ana retorted, making everyone laugh.

“You wish, Miss Flat-Ass.” Dila mumbled under her breath as she smirked.

Although the tension eased slightly with Ana and Dila’s sarcastic remark, one person still remained serious, rubbing her chin with thought

“If it wasn’t the three of you… then who did it?” Jai mumbled quietly to herself.

All eyes turned to Ana, who looked up guiltily and squeaked, “I’m sorry?”

~~~~~~~

“Jai, let me explain…”  Ana pleaded, practically begging on her knees as she tried to catch up to Jai, who was walking at an incredibly fast pace down the street. “Please?”

“Fine.” Jai spat out, turning around so quickly that Ana almost ran right smack into her.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Jai tapped her foot impatiently and said, “This better be good.”

Taking a deep breath to steady her rapid pulse, Ana said, “I didn’t do it on purpose… you see, my friend said that she wanted me to return the DVD she lent me six weeks ago, but I haven’t watched it yet due to everything that has been happening lately… but I really wanted to watch it… so I just popped it into the player… but it didn’t work, so I pressed a few buttons on the remote control and suddenly it started playing… how was I supposed to know that you were taping…”

“YA. WAN NUR FARHANA. HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THAT I WAS TAPING THE DRAMA? I MEAN, PRACTICALLY THE WHOLE FREAKIN’ WORLD KNOWS YESTERDAY WAS THE FINAL EPISODE!!!”

“Jai…” Ana said quietly, tugging onto Jai’s sleeve and giving her the “round-eyed-please-forgive-me-look”, commonly done by the Puss in Boots within the cartoon, Shrek. “You could always watch it online…”

forgive me?? pleeasseeeee~~~???

Brushing Ana’s hand away, Jai looked like she wanted to scream. 

But she took a deep breath instead and closed her eyes, telling herself to calm down.

“Na, it’s not the same. Watching it online and on television… the feeling is different. But since you don’t watch dramas, only those super cheesy shows, you won’t understand.”

“Fine. I don’t understand. But I really don’t see what the big deal is… I mean, whether it is on television or on the Internet, you’re still not watching it live… and TeniMyu is not a cheesy show. It’s a masterpiece.” Ana said, pouting.

“Aish, Dila’s right. You’re such a sappy, helpless mess. I honestly don’t know what I see in someone like you… I mean, you’re greasy, have bad hair and a foul mouth…” Jai grumbled, but Ana could tell her’s anger was slowly subsiding.

“That’s because you love me for being me.” Ana said cheekily, making Jai laugh and hit her on the arm for saying something as thick-skinned as that. 

“So… you’re not mad at me anymore?”

Glaring at her friend, Jai said, “Who said?  I’m still mad at you… but I still haven’t thought up of a way to get back at you yet… So you better watch out… because when I do think up of something… you’ll wish you never messed with me…”

Upon hearing this, Ana laughed, her eyes twinkling with humor.

 “Sure… I’ll wait patiently for your little ‘revenge’…”

It’s probably something as childish as stealing my toothbrush or something… or drawing funny things on my face when I’m still asleep… Ana thought to herself, chuckling slightly at the cute ideas.  I mean, what else can she do?

Little did Ana know what Jai had in store for her. 

Dila's homework drabble 2

#2nd drabble. I think this is my last one.

Dila was in trouble. Yup, she definitely was. She nodded to herself and sighed as she sat in front of the computer. Unfortunately, this problem can only be solved by her lonely self.

Seriously, what help would the other guys be?

She pouted and stared at the screen. The message from her professor was glaring at her from her computer screen. Really…couldn’t the man give her a break?

First of all, she was a money-collector(from all her housemates).

Second of all, she barely sleeps.

Third of all, can’t she rest on her well-deserved vacation?

Concentrating on the message, Dila tapped her pen on the table underneath her hand while her foot tapped out an unknown beat.

Anthropology Class. Project: Study of a unique group of people. Make a journal and record your study of a group of people in their natural environment. Due by the end of the week.

Dila huffed, her free hand picking at her hair.

What the heck?

A study of a group of people.

Her nose scrunched up cutely as she pouted more in concentration. What the heck is a study of a group of people? She sighed again. What group of people can she possibly study?

Dila snorted at the image of her sitting in a park, all wrapped up and pretending to not be herself. This professor must be joking. If she even walked outside, a group of fanboys would mob her immediately. How is she supposed to study a group of people?

Tilting her head, Dila was at a lost. Okay. Whatever. It’s still homework and she had to finish it.

She sighed.

So all she had to do was a find a group of people, sit there and study them. She nodded.

Alright, she can do this.

Yup. Definitely.

She’s the genius after all. This was easy. Yup. Yeah. Alright then…

Dila sighed.

Damn she still is lost.

Dila growled quietly to herself.

This is easy. NOT.

“What are you growling about?” Dila heard before she felt a hand fall upon her head.

“Nothing.” She mumbled.

“Uh, yeah and I don’t believe you?” Ana smirked, leaning over the shoulder of her housemate to read the email on the computer. “Did you get dumped or something?” She raised an eyebrow as her eyes skimmed over the words.

“I wish. That would require me having a boyfriend to begin with. And we all know that I don’t.” Dila answered, looking up at Ana.

“Hmm…” Ana hummed out, straightening out her pose. “True.” She nodded. “Is this what is bothering you?” She poked at the computer screen only to have her finger promptly knocked away.

“No touch.” Dila frowned and patted her computer lovingly.

“Riiiight. Okay, Miss Video-Downloading Freak. Is this “anthropology class” bothering you?” Ana frowned, her eyes trailing back up to the screen again. Dila pouted at the reference towards her “special” videos

“Sort of.” She answered, her pencil starting to tap on her table again.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

”Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Shut up, Ana.”

Ana smirked before ruffling Dila’s hair. “Genius-ah.” She sighed. “You’re thinking too hard.”

“Eh?” Dila looked up at the youngest. “What do you mean?”

Ana grinned and shrugged, straightening up from her position. “You’ll figure something out.” She patted Dila’s shoulder and started to walk out of the room.

Dila huffed. “That doesn’t help.” She glared at Ana’s back, turning to face her computer again. Okay…back to concentrating.

Dila bit her lip. In the distant background she could hear Saba’s voice calling out to Said.

“Eh?” She blinked in surprise.

Why didn’t she think of that?

Turning around quickly in her seat, Dila smirked as she watched Jai tackle Ana to the ground right outside her door.

A unique group of people…

Dila shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this.” She grinned and moved to find an empty notebook.

She definitely found a “unique group” for sure. Standing up, Dila pulled out a small notebook and a pen before walking out of her room.

Ah, anthropology class…

She smiled happily as she walked out of the room towards the living room. Settling down on the couch, Dila laid the notebook on her lap, patting the first page gently before writing neatly on the page.

“The Study of the Crazy Family”