Of Money. And Reciprocate.

If I have to choose the most worrisome issue in my life, 
It would be money. 

Mostly women my age, 
They would worry about marriages. 
Mid-20s women has that kind of thing going on in their minds. 

But mine, 
I would think about how can I make my money grow in my account. 
How do I keep on making more,
And more. 

And of reciprocation.
When people give you presents or just simple things,
You usually say "thank you"s and be grateful for it.
Of course I am grateful.
Of course I say thank you, to be polite.
But in my head,
I would find a way to reciprocate,
Worrying constantly,
Because even if it is a gift,
I was trained (by myself) to not feel indebted towards others.
It was a stupid thought.
But it is mine.

Daddy always say I worry about finance so much, 
Someday I would marry money instead of a person. 
Just today,  
When Daddy changed the tires and rims of my car, 
I worry about how should I pay him back. 
How should I reciprocate. 
Daddy just laughed and says, 
"I love you. Thats what fathers do.
Just think of this as a present for Aidil Fitri."  

But my mind keeps making this counting, 
And ways, 
And I worry about how should I reciprocate.

This is my worldly sin.