It Gets Worse

The times will heal the wounds,
But it left scars.
Ugly,
Obnoxious,
Big,
Black scars.

Scars that sometimes will never fade away,
And it worms into your heart,
Like maggots,
Deciding what to do,
Where to occupy,
When will the host will finally succumb,
And claimed by darkness.

I spent so many times,
Being angry and bitter,
Hating those who wounded me,
That over time,
I became tired and exhausted,
That I decided to let go.

It's not "I forgive you" kind of let go,
It's the "I don't care anymore" kind of let go,
I wanted to embrace the former,
But something within me wouldn't let me.
Ego?
Or was it obstinacy?

I don't really know anymore.

Being angry is really tiring.
And I'm tired of lying,
Faking,
Smiling,
Everything.