Kuru mao,itte kuru?

Egh, one more week before new semester start.
Abid told me that we probably will be discarded from receiving allowance and replaced with PTPTN loans.
I DON'T WANT IT.
I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT.
I seriously hope it wasn't true.

I am not happy with this.
With MY PARENTS BUYING ME A FRICKIN' DAMN CAR.
That's it.
I said it.
I am not proud, of having a car.
WHY?
Because I lose money,dammit!!
I am thankful of my parents,that entrusted me in taking care of huge thing,namely in this situation---a CAR.
But I personally didn't think I was ready to own a car.
I am happy riding with Fatah (BECAUSE IT WAS CHEAPER THAN BUS,duh) or even taking a bus, I didn't really mind.
Yeah, my sister said I have weird logic for not thinking like any other human.
People, usually are excited, happy when they got things as big,like,oh I don't know, a CAR??
But I don't think I'm ready.
To own a car.
I'm not confident that I can take care of it properly.
Heck,I can't even take care of myself...(- -lll)
Anyhow, thank you Umi and Abah.

It was a Kelisa.
Umi said a day after we brought it home
" Orang lain kalu dapat kereta tak lekat di rumah dah, ni buat tak tahu ja..nak ke taknak keta ni?"
I was still in shock,actually.
My mind still couldn't access the reality that I actually own a vehicle.
And being ignorant as I am, I do NOTHING.
Abah told me to try drive the car, and all I did was park it behind Umi's NAZA Citra.
GOD, WHAT KIND OF HUMAN I AM???
Why do I react differently unlike other human?????

Nobody in IPG KDRI knows about this.
And I didn't intend to let ANYONE know.
Not that I want to keep it as secret because I don't want people to borrow it,..
I just...don't like to boast about materials..
I even want to keep it at home and go to IPG with bus,
And later received a smack from my sister, who was getting impatient with my abnormalities.

I am scared.
I am scared about my lack of ability to take care of things.
And I don't want my parents to lose their trust in me.
WHAT SHOULD I DO??
Help.
Please.
Help.